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Other Added - Conflict Stories: From Confrontation to Collaboration
A midwife is required to complete the prescribed course of studies in midwifery and to acquire the necessary training to be registered and or legally licensed to practice midwifery.She must be able to give the essential supervision, care and advice to women during pregnancy, labor and the postpartum period. The midwife conducts a delivery on her own responsibility and cares for the newborn. All nurse-midwifery programs are within institutions of higher education. Roughly 70% of nurse-midwives graduate college at
In the example above, Perry felt let down (the victim) when he didn’t receive the budget figures he needed and blamed Vic (the villain). Conversely, Vic felt unfairly blamed (the victim) when Perry (the villain) criticized him for responding to customer demands. Each saw himself as justifie
Most people don’t bother to keep their resume up to date. They wait until they have serious problems or dissatisfaction with their current job, and then at the last minute they slap something together. Updating your resume should be a constant process - even when you are happy with your current job, you need to be working on it.Why should you keep working on your resume? For starters, it’s easier that way if something comes up. You don’t have to sit down and think about all the things you’ve been doing over the l
Perry Noid: “Why aren’t those estimates ready for the budget report yet? I told you yesterday that I needed them by 2:00. Thanks to you, I’ll be here half the night getting this ready.”Vic Tom: “This place doesn’t revolve around you, you know. I had customers to tend to. Without them, you wouldn’t have a budget to worry about.”
Perry: “That may be, but you could have at least had the decency to let me know you were going to be late.”
Vic: “If you were ever available, I would have told you what was happening.”
Hardly constructive, these exchanges resemble debates or ping-pong games and serve only to inflame emotions and entrench the participants. How do normally intelligent and articulate people fall into such unproductive patterns? And what can be done about it? The answers to both questions lie in the roles we instinctively and sometimes unconsciously adopt when confronted by conflict.
In conflict, everyone has a story or at least their side of the story. To better understand these stories, try prefacing them with the words “Once upon a time.” People’s conflict stories feature the same three types of characters as do the fairy tales of our youth: the innocent, helpless victim; the evil, controlling villain, and the brave, righteous hero. We encounter these same character types on the front page of our newspapers, in our favourite television shows and on movie screens everywhere.
When we perceive ourselves as attacked or threatened by another, we usually see ourselves as the victim—innocent and powerless. We may quickly shift to playing the hero and stand up to our attacker. And if we don’t manage our angry impulses, we may even slip into the role of the villain and personally attack the other person. Each role limits our understanding of situation; together they form a “drama triangle” that traps us in confrontation. This explains why people in conflict refer to feeling “stuck”.
In the example above, Perry felt let down (the victim) when he didn’t receive the budget figures he needed and blamed Vic (the villain). Conversely, Vic felt unfairly blamed (the victim) when Perry (the villain) criticized him for responding to customer demands. Each saw himself as justified
When I interviewed Kevin Rosen of Junior's Cheesecake here in NYC it was to ask him what he and his family want the Internet to do for them and their business.I met Kevin when he appeared on a panel of business owners taking their companies online, sponsored by Crains Publishing Company at its annual Expo.In fact I interviewed over 50 successful long established Main Street companies, asking many of the same questions that I asked Kevin. I was looking for the common denominator, the two or three reasons th
Vic: “If you were ever available, I would have told you what was happening.”
Hardly constructive, these exchanges resemble debates or ping-pong games and serve only to inflame emotions and entrench the participants. How do normally intelligent and articulate people fall into such unproductive patterns? And what can be done about it? The answers to both questions lie in the roles we instinctively and sometimes unconsciously adopt when confronted by conflict.
In conflict, everyone has a story or at least their side of the story. To better understand these stories, try prefacing them with the words “Once upon a time.” People’s conflict stories feature the same three types of characters as do the fairy tales of our youth: the innocent, helpless victim; the evil, controlling villain, and the brave, righteous hero. We encounter these same character types on the front page of our newspapers, in our favourite television shows and on movie screens everywhere.
When we perceive ourselves as attacked or threatened by another, we usually see ourselves as the victim—innocent and powerless. We may quickly shift to playing the hero and stand up to our attacker. And if we don’t manage our angry impulses, we may even slip into the role of the villain and personally attack the other person. Each role limits our understanding of situation; together they form a “drama triangle” that traps us in confrontation. This explains why people in conflict refer to feeling “stuck”.
In the example above, Perry felt let down (the victim) when he didn’t receive the budget figures he needed and blamed Vic (the villain). Conversely, Vic felt unfairly blamed (the victim) when Perry (the villain) criticized him for responding to customer demands. Each saw himself as justifie
Selling is a tough job, and sometimes you may need to appear tough in order to get the sale.As a salesperson (whether in person or in print) you don’t have to appear to the customer as being needy of the sale. Many times, the opposite can work quite effectively, that is, to make the customer think of purchasing your product or service as a special privilege.Here are a number of ways that you can “bully” the customer into buying from you.1. State that only a LIMITED number is available.ie in the roles we instinctively and sometimes unconsciously adopt when confronted by conflict.
In conflict, everyone has a story or at least their side of the story. To better understand these stories, try prefacing them with the words “Once upon a time.” People’s conflict stories feature the same three types of characters as do the fairy tales of our youth: the innocent, helpless victim; the evil, controlling villain, and the brave, righteous hero. We encounter these same character types on the front page of our newspapers, in our favourite television shows and on movie screens everywhere.
When we perceive ourselves as attacked or threatened by another, we usually see ourselves as the victim—innocent and powerless. We may quickly shift to playing the hero and stand up to our attacker. And if we don’t manage our angry impulses, we may even slip into the role of the villain and personally attack the other person. Each role limits our understanding of situation; together they form a “drama triangle” that traps us in confrontation. This explains why people in conflict refer to feeling “stuck”.
In the example above, Perry felt let down (the victim) when he didn’t receive the budget figures he needed and blamed Vic (the villain). Conversely, Vic felt unfairly blamed (the victim) when Perry (the villain) criticized him for responding to customer demands. Each saw himself as justifie
If you own a business and your clients take up to 60 days to pay your invoices, you may want to consider invoice factoring. Invoice factoring eliminates the payment wait and gets your invoices paid in a couple of days. This gives you the necessary financing to pay ongoing expenses such as suppliers, salaries and rent.But invoice factoring is different from most traditional financing. For starters, it is not a loan, but rather, a sale of invoices. Although it may not be clear at first sight, you can finance your b
When we perceive ourselves as attacked or threatened by another, we usually see ourselves as the victim—innocent and powerless. We may quickly shift to playing the hero and stand up to our attacker. And if we don’t manage our angry impulses, we may even slip into the role of the villain and personally attack the other person. Each role limits our understanding of situation; together they form a “drama triangle” that traps us in confrontation. This explains why people in conflict refer to feeling “stuck”.
In the example above, Perry felt let down (the victim) when he didn’t receive the budget figures he needed and blamed Vic (the villain). Conversely, Vic felt unfairly blamed (the victim) when Perry (the villain) criticized him for responding to customer demands. Each saw himself as justifie
The Wisconsin State Agency that oversees the collection and reporting of State income taxes deducted from payroll checks is:Department of Revenue Income, Sales, Inheritance and Excise Tax Division P.O. Box 8910 2135 Rimrock Rd. Madison, WI 53713 (608) 266-2776 www.dor.state.wi.us/Wisconsin allows you to use the Federal W-4 form or the "WT-4, Employee's Wisconsin Withholding Exemption Certificate/New Hire Reporting" to calculate state income tax withholding.Not all states allow salary re
In the example above, Perry felt let down (the victim) when he didn’t receive the budget figures he needed and blamed Vic (the villain). Conversely, Vic felt unfairly blamed (the victim) when Perry (the villain) criticized him for responding to customer demands. Each saw himself as justified in attempting to right the wrong (the hero) by defending themselves and attacking the other (the villain) in their place. Soon the questions of the budget figures and communication were forgotten in the wake of the ensuing verbal jousting that caused each person to become angrier and more entrenched. This “drama triangle” traps us in confrontation and damages relationships.
Once we become aware of this pattern and our role in it, we can choose more constructive approaches. When we shift our judgement to curiosity, we open ourselves to understand the other person instead of attributing evil motives to them. Curiosity leads us to ask questions, listen, and understand why the other person might feel like a victim in the situation. When the other person feels heard instead of attacked, they become more willing to hear our side of the story – we win ourselves a hearing. We can take advantage of that hearing by asserting our perspective in a way that doesn’t label the other person as the villain.
Consider the example above. Instead of discounting Perry’s concerns, Vic could have responded “Perry, I get that you’re up against it with the budget. And you’re right – I didn’t get you those estimates yesterday. Something came up for me with a key customer and I had trouble tracking you down to let you know. I’d like to sit down for five minutes, get this back on track and figure out how to handle it better in the future.” No victims, no villains – just two people working to solve a problem.
Some people view conflict as negative and destructive, as it well can be. But when we bring genuine curiosity, respect and compassion to our conflict conversations, we build bridges, deepen relationships and solve problems. We move beyond the drama of confrontation to resolution.
Copywrite 2005 Gary Harper
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