eful not to be sarcastic or cynical. Never cut them off in mid-sentence and never tell them something to the effect of , "You don't make any sense! You are speaking rubbish!" (Even if you think that they are! Remember they also have good ideas, so it's worth it to ignore their senseless ideas in order that you will eventually gain from their good ones.) If you agree with what they say then praise them and say, "That's a good point." Nothing too "schmaltzy" (this wThe main point in my last article was that you are not a failure as a parent if you don't know everything and ask your teenager's opinions. On the contrary, our job as parents is to be the family's director and not its dictator. Therefore since teens have great creative ideas (among their silly ones) and can help save you money by doing research etc. it is a shame not to use them in a way that the whole family benefits (yes, even the father and mother). You might be thinking, "This might be easy for him say but my kid is so cynical and obnoxious that he won't even tell me the time of day without some smart aleck remark. How can I discuss anything serious with him?" I agree with you, that if this is the situation in your family it won't happen in one day. However, if you follow a simple common sense plan and if you are determined to have it work, you will see that in a short time your teen will help you to save money, time, and heartache.

The first step is to wait for a time when you and your teen are both relaxed. This might take a little time to happen but it is worth the wait. At that time ask them their opinion about something very impersonal. Something about international politics or a new product you saw on-line or in the newspaper is usually a good idea, provided than neither of you have strong opinions about it.

Don't ask "loaded" questions like, "Don't you think....?" or "Don't you agree with me that.....?" This puts her in a tough position and won't help her to be open and say what she really feels.

Give them your full attention when they speak, meaning don't look at the newspaper or at the TV. If the level of communication with them still isn't too good it's not a good idea to look directly at them when they speak (they'll feel intimidated) but be careful not to anything else when they speak.

Respond to what they say with RESPECT and be careful not to be sarcastic or cynical. Never cut them off in mid-sentence and never tell them something to the effect of , "You don't make any sense! You are speaking rubbish!" (Even if you think that they are! Remember they also have good ideas, so it's worth it to ignore their senseless ideas in order that you will eventually gain from their good ones.) If you agree with what they say then praise them and say, "That's a good point." Nothing too "schmaltzy" (this wi

s might be easy for him say but my kid is so cynical and obnoxious that he won't even tell me the time of day without some smart aleck remark. How can I discuss anything serious with him?" I agree with you, that if this is the situation in your family it won't happen in one day. However, if you follow a simple common sense plan and if you are determined to have it work, you will see that in a short time your teen will help you to save money, time, and heartache.

The first step is to wait for a time when you and your teen are both relaxed. This might take a little time to happen but it is worth the wait. At that time ask them their opinion about something very impersonal. Something about international politics or a new product you saw on-line or in the newspaper is usually a good idea, provided than neither of you have strong opinions about it.

Don't ask "loaded" questions like, "Don't you think....?" or "Don't you agree with me that.....?" This puts her in a tough position and won't help her to be open and say what she really feels.

Give them your full attention when they speak, meaning don't look at the newspaper or at the TV. If the level of communication with them still isn't too good it's not a good idea to look directly at them when they speak (they'll feel intimidated) but be careful not to anything else when they speak.

Respond to what they say with RESPECT and be careful not to be sarcastic or cynical. Never cut them off in mid-sentence and never tell them something to the effect of , "You don't make any sense! You are speaking rubbish!" (Even if you think that they are! Remember they also have good ideas, so it's worth it to ignore their senseless ideas in order that you will eventually gain from their good ones.) If you agree with what they say then praise them and say, "That's a good point." Nothing too "schmaltzy" (this w

ep is to wait for a time when you and your teen are both relaxed. This might take a little time to happen but it is worth the wait. At that time ask them their opinion about something very impersonal. Something about international politics or a new product you saw on-line or in the newspaper is usually a good idea, provided than neither of you have strong opinions about it.

Don't ask "loaded" questions like, "Don't you think....?" or "Don't you agree with me that.....?" This puts her in a tough position and won't help her to be open and say what she really feels.

Give them your full attention when they speak, meaning don't look at the newspaper or at the TV. If the level of communication with them still isn't too good it's not a good idea to look directly at them when they speak (they'll feel intimidated) but be careful not to anything else when they speak.

Respond to what they say with RESPECT and be careful not to be sarcastic or cynical. Never cut them off in mid-sentence and never tell them something to the effect of , "You don't make any sense! You are speaking rubbish!" (Even if you think that they are! Remember they also have good ideas, so it's worth it to ignore their senseless ideas in order that you will eventually gain from their good ones.) If you agree with what they say then praise them and say, "That's a good point." Nothing too "schmaltzy" (this w

that.....?" This puts her in a tough position and won't help her to be open and say what she really feels.

Give them your full attention when they speak, meaning don't look at the newspaper or at the TV. If the level of communication with them still isn't too good it's not a good idea to look directly at them when they speak (they'll feel intimidated) but be careful not to anything else when they speak.

Respond to what they say with RESPECT and be careful not to be sarcastic or cynical. Never cut them off in mid-sentence and never tell them something to the effect of , "You don't make any sense! You are speaking rubbish!" (Even if you think that they are! Remember they also have good ideas, so it's worth it to ignore their senseless ideas in order that you will eventually gain from their good ones.) If you agree with what they say then praise them and say, "That's a good point." Nothing too "schmaltzy" (this w

eful not to be sarcastic or cynical. Never cut them off in mid-sentence and never tell them something to the effect of , "You don't make any sense! You are speaking rubbish!" (Even if you think that they are! Remember they also have good ideas, so it's worth it to ignore their senseless ideas in order that you will eventually gain from their good ones.) If you agree with what they say then praise them and say, "That's a good point." Nothing too "schmaltzy" (this will make them very suspicious) just short and to the point. . If you disagree with them (which there are times that you surely will) say, "Interesting, let me think about that." Or, "I hear where you are coming from. My life's experience tells me otherwise but I hear what you are saying."

If possible, the next time you see them, tell them, "You know I was thinking over what you said last night and I see that you have a strong point." This shows that you value what they said to such a degree that you even spent time to think about it. Another great form of praise is when you quote them to your friends (when your teen isn't meant to be listening) and say, "My son once said....." This shows that you really hold of what they say.

Continue to ask their opinions about impersonal subjects until you feel comfortable to ask them what they feel and until you see that they are comfortable to express their feelings to you. After that you can move on to more personal subjects until eventually you will get to the point that you can ask them their opinions on subjects are important to you and that will really save you money, time and heartache.