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Other Added - If It Weren't For Them-This Job Would Be Easy
I can't tell you why these are secrets, but it might be because most people don't appear to know how to do them. At least, they are not doing them now!Allow me to illustrate my credibility on this subject – I am an only parent of two wonderful daughters in middle school (and a dog) and have my own full-time business. I'm gradually painting the inside of our home, wall by wall, and have an almost 14 year old car. I'm busy.I love my life, but in order to accomplish all I want to accomplish, I have to organize the way I spend my time very well.Here are my secrets: a week-at-a-glance planner, a 2-page business plan and a cleaning woman! The first two tools work hand in hand and require very little maintenance, but they do require some systematic attention. The third
3. Person doesn’t take responsibility for own behavior or solution to conflict. Blames others for problems, inadequacies, etc.
4. Person wants to elicit sympathy from others. ‘Ain’t it awful, I have it so bad here.’ Person wants to look superior by airing others’ faults, thus avoiding a recognition of how she/he is part of the problem and has a responsibility for the resolution.
5. Person is threatened by new information. Is unable to accept different and possibly easier ways of doing something. Feels inadequate and unable to change. Fears change.
What To Do
1. After second response of ‘Yes But,’ use gentle confrontation to redirect the energy and focus of the person. Ask: “What is it you want to accomplish?’ Or point out: ‘It is important to consider solutions before you reject them.’ If the person insists there is no solution, suggest the need to learn ways to cope and cease complaining.
2. Encourage him/her to re-evaluate. Ask: ‘Do you
In keeping up with the fast-changing telecommunication scenario, the global Telecom Companies are vying with each other to offer the best in terms of services to the consumer. Ultimately it is the consumer who is benefiting, in terms of receiving the latest easy-to-operate telecom services and devices. New features and facilities are being added to the existing services.These companies not only cater to corporate needs but also to the needs of individual customers whose communication requirements are limited. In fact, the customers can get benefits such as no start-up fees or connection fees. Added to this is the bonus of not even being required to pay the minimum monthly fee where call volume is not enough to justify monthly expenses. The superior technological innovations and cus
It seems that in almost every team, there is at least one ‘difficult’ person. His/her communication style tends to hinder the flow of communication and distracts the manager/group leader from the prescribed goals.
If managers/team leaders believe that the distracting behavior is a result of their style of leadership, they may feel inadequate or frustrated. It is important, therefore, that they understand these personalities are usually enduring styles rather than transient behaviors exhibited as a result of the team process.
In working with numerous managers/team leaders, I have isolated five communication styles. As with life in general, it is the exception that rivets our attention and stimulates reflection. Using Eric Berne’s Games People Play as the paradigm, I have abstracted five distracting communication styles that appear consistently no matter the environment. They are:
1. Yes, but
2. Wooden leg
3. If it weren’t for them (the boss, co-workers, management, etc.)
4. Ain’t it awful
5. Now I’ve got you, you S.O.B
While each of these styles is characterized by different behaviors, a common trait is avoidance behavior. Each style serves the purpose of avoiding becoming involved in the process and/or having to consider seriously the issues being raised.
In my experience, working in various settings, reveals that every organization’s employees manifest these personality styles in varying degrees. Organizations with no competitors have minimal influence from external forces to prompt growth, a situation which promotes organizational stagnation. This stagnation finds indirect expression through all the communication channels in the system and has its terminal impact on the attitude of the individual employee. Somehow, maintaining the status quo becomes both an organizational and personal dictum. When confronted with information that has a high probability of generating cognitive dissonance, the individual ‘instinctively’ wants to put his/her head in the sand or fight to defend the status quo. This syndrome is manifested behaviorally as the ‘games’ I have identified.
The following compendium represents a synthesis that I have developed to aid managers/team leaders in successfully managing these personality styles and in promoting effective learning.
One person does not have the right to ruin an otherwise well-functioning group. But one person can do just that if the manager/team leader doesn’t know how to respond to him/her. As you practice the responses given here, you will become more and more adept both at identifying different personality types and responding to them effectively. Instead of watching helplessly as all your well-laid plans go awry, you will have the satisfaction of knowing what is transpiring and that you are in charge of the situation.
Communication Style
l. Yes, But Person presents problem regarding work situation. Co-workers or Manager present possible solutions: “Have you considered…?” Person responds, “Yes, But….”
2.Wooden Leg Person makes statements of helplessness: “I can’t do….” “I’ll try….” “You expect too much.” “I’m can’t change at my age.” And on and on…
3.If it Weren’t for Them (The boss, Co-workers, management) Person blames others.
4. Ain’t it Awful Person relates ‘war stories’ regarding organization’s policies, etc. with no apparent purpose in mind.
5. Now I’ve Got You, You S.O.B. Person looks for and points out issues to discredit the information and the manager/leader’s ability.
Reason for Behavior
1. Person seeks no solution to problem. Desires to maintain status quo. Doesn’t want change. Wants to make others appear inferior by rejecting their solutions as not good enough
2. Person feels generally inadequate. Wants group either to rescue or feel sorry for him/her (poor helpless/ defenseless me.
3. Person doesn’t take responsibility for own behavior or solution to conflict. Blames others for problems, inadequacies, etc.
4. Person wants to elicit sympathy from others. ‘Ain’t it awful, I have it so bad here.’ Person wants to look superior by airing others’ faults, thus avoiding a recognition of how she/he is part of the problem and has a responsibility for the resolution.
5. Person is threatened by new information. Is unable to accept different and possibly easier ways of doing something. Feels inadequate and unable to change. Fears change.
What To Do
1. After second response of ‘Yes But,’ use gentle confrontation to redirect the energy and focus of the person. Ask: “What is it you want to accomplish?’ Or point out: ‘It is important to consider solutions before you reject them.’ If the person insists there is no solution, suggest the need to learn ways to cope and cease complaining.
2. Encourage him/her to re-evaluate. Ask: ‘Do you
Perhaps this may amuse you in some way. Did you know one of the ways that international franchisees of a US based franchisor often try to get out of the franchise agreement is by saying that they did not read it or could not read it? Or that they did not understand what they read, yet signed it and promised to follow all the stipulations? Well it is true.And yes it happens in the United States too with franchisees who do not follow their words, signature or promises to follow the franchising contract, yet they still partake in all the fruits of the strong brand name, confidential proprietary knowledge and marketing techniques. Then they do not pay their royalties or follow the rules undermining the entire franchise system. Then when in litigation or arbitration they say; “I did not
1. Yes, but
2. Wooden leg
3. If it weren’t for them (the boss, co-workers, management, etc.)
4. Ain’t it awful
5. Now I’ve got you, you S.O.B
While each of these styles is characterized by different behaviors, a common trait is avoidance behavior. Each style serves the purpose of avoiding becoming involved in the process and/or having to consider seriously the issues being raised.
In my experience, working in various settings, reveals that every organization’s employees manifest these personality styles in varying degrees. Organizations with no competitors have minimal influence from external forces to prompt growth, a situation which promotes organizational stagnation. This stagnation finds indirect expression through all the communication channels in the system and has its terminal impact on the attitude of the individual employee. Somehow, maintaining the status quo becomes both an organizational and personal dictum. When confronted with information that has a high probability of generating cognitive dissonance, the individual ‘instinctively’ wants to put his/her head in the sand or fight to defend the status quo. This syndrome is manifested behaviorally as the ‘games’ I have identified.
The following compendium represents a synthesis that I have developed to aid managers/team leaders in successfully managing these personality styles and in promoting effective learning.
One person does not have the right to ruin an otherwise well-functioning group. But one person can do just that if the manager/team leader doesn’t know how to respond to him/her. As you practice the responses given here, you will become more and more adept both at identifying different personality types and responding to them effectively. Instead of watching helplessly as all your well-laid plans go awry, you will have the satisfaction of knowing what is transpiring and that you are in charge of the situation.
Communication Style
l. Yes, But Person presents problem regarding work situation. Co-workers or Manager present possible solutions: “Have you considered…?” Person responds, “Yes, But….”
2.Wooden Leg Person makes statements of helplessness: “I can’t do….” “I’ll try….” “You expect too much.” “I’m can’t change at my age.” And on and on…
3.If it Weren’t for Them (The boss, Co-workers, management) Person blames others.
4. Ain’t it Awful Person relates ‘war stories’ regarding organization’s policies, etc. with no apparent purpose in mind.
5. Now I’ve Got You, You S.O.B. Person looks for and points out issues to discredit the information and the manager/leader’s ability.
Reason for Behavior
1. Person seeks no solution to problem. Desires to maintain status quo. Doesn’t want change. Wants to make others appear inferior by rejecting their solutions as not good enough
2. Person feels generally inadequate. Wants group either to rescue or feel sorry for him/her (poor helpless/ defenseless me.
3. Person doesn’t take responsibility for own behavior or solution to conflict. Blames others for problems, inadequacies, etc.
4. Person wants to elicit sympathy from others. ‘Ain’t it awful, I have it so bad here.’ Person wants to look superior by airing others’ faults, thus avoiding a recognition of how she/he is part of the problem and has a responsibility for the resolution.
5. Person is threatened by new information. Is unable to accept different and possibly easier ways of doing something. Feels inadequate and unable to change. Fears change.
What To Do
1. After second response of ‘Yes But,’ use gentle confrontation to redirect the energy and focus of the person. Ask: “What is it you want to accomplish?’ Or point out: ‘It is important to consider solutions before you reject them.’ If the person insists there is no solution, suggest the need to learn ways to cope and cease complaining.
2. Encourage him/her to re-evaluate. Ask: ‘Do you
What if you are expecting a job offer with one company and then get an interview with another company?Specifically, you haven't yet accepted an offer but are expecting one shortly.I don’t suggest accepting a job offer and then changing your mind and accepting another company’s offer. That’s unethical.The reality though is that timing often plays a big part in how we move forward in our career. You might be approaching a job offer with one company and are then invited to attend an interview with another company that you are also interested in working for.What should you do?Unless you’ve received the job offer in writing, it isn’t yet a job offer. In this case, your job search isn’t over yet as far as I can tell.Until you have received a job
The following compendium represents a synthesis that I have developed to aid managers/team leaders in successfully managing these personality styles and in promoting effective learning.
One person does not have the right to ruin an otherwise well-functioning group. But one person can do just that if the manager/team leader doesn’t know how to respond to him/her. As you practice the responses given here, you will become more and more adept both at identifying different personality types and responding to them effectively. Instead of watching helplessly as all your well-laid plans go awry, you will have the satisfaction of knowing what is transpiring and that you are in charge of the situation.
Communication Style
l. Yes, But Person presents problem regarding work situation. Co-workers or Manager present possible solutions: “Have you considered…?” Person responds, “Yes, But….”
2.Wooden Leg Person makes statements of helplessness: “I can’t do….” “I’ll try….” “You expect too much.” “I’m can’t change at my age.” And on and on…
3.If it Weren’t for Them (The boss, Co-workers, management) Person blames others.
4. Ain’t it Awful Person relates ‘war stories’ regarding organization’s policies, etc. with no apparent purpose in mind.
5. Now I’ve Got You, You S.O.B. Person looks for and points out issues to discredit the information and the manager/leader’s ability.
Reason for Behavior
1. Person seeks no solution to problem. Desires to maintain status quo. Doesn’t want change. Wants to make others appear inferior by rejecting their solutions as not good enough
2. Person feels generally inadequate. Wants group either to rescue or feel sorry for him/her (poor helpless/ defenseless me.
3. Person doesn’t take responsibility for own behavior or solution to conflict. Blames others for problems, inadequacies, etc.
4. Person wants to elicit sympathy from others. ‘Ain’t it awful, I have it so bad here.’ Person wants to look superior by airing others’ faults, thus avoiding a recognition of how she/he is part of the problem and has a responsibility for the resolution.
5. Person is threatened by new information. Is unable to accept different and possibly easier ways of doing something. Feels inadequate and unable to change. Fears change.
What To Do
1. After second response of ‘Yes But,’ use gentle confrontation to redirect the energy and focus of the person. Ask: “What is it you want to accomplish?’ Or point out: ‘It is important to consider solutions before you reject them.’ If the person insists there is no solution, suggest the need to learn ways to cope and cease complaining.
2. Encourage him/her to re-evaluate. Ask: ‘Do you
Presently, there are about 8 million licensed CDL drivers in the United States. Approximately 4.5 million of these are active truck drivers. Professional truck driving, specifically over the road trucking, has always been noted as a field dominated by men. The rough and tough trucking life could only be handled by a real man . . . well, times are changing!Women in trucking actually goes back to 1929 when Lillie Elizabeth Drennan became the first women to receive the CDL license. Driving an old Chevrolet, she was a rugged lady who carried a loaded revolver with her on her trucking adventures. Born in 1897, she paved the way for women truckers up to her passing in 1974.Today, there are nearly 170,000 women truckers, making up 5% o
Communication Style
l. Yes, But Person presents problem regarding work situation. Co-workers or Manager present possible solutions: “Have you considered…?” Person responds, “Yes, But….”
2.Wooden Leg Person makes statements of helplessness: “I can’t do….” “I’ll try….” “You expect too much.” “I’m can’t change at my age.” And on and on…
3.If it Weren’t for Them (The boss, Co-workers, management) Person blames others.
4. Ain’t it Awful Person relates ‘war stories’ regarding organization’s policies, etc. with no apparent purpose in mind.
5. Now I’ve Got You, You S.O.B. Person looks for and points out issues to discredit the information and the manager/leader’s ability.
Reason for Behavior
1. Person seeks no solution to problem. Desires to maintain status quo. Doesn’t want change. Wants to make others appear inferior by rejecting their solutions as not good enough
2. Person feels generally inadequate. Wants group either to rescue or feel sorry for him/her (poor helpless/ defenseless me.
3. Person doesn’t take responsibility for own behavior or solution to conflict. Blames others for problems, inadequacies, etc.
4. Person wants to elicit sympathy from others. ‘Ain’t it awful, I have it so bad here.’ Person wants to look superior by airing others’ faults, thus avoiding a recognition of how she/he is part of the problem and has a responsibility for the resolution.
5. Person is threatened by new information. Is unable to accept different and possibly easier ways of doing something. Feels inadequate and unable to change. Fears change.
What To Do
1. After second response of ‘Yes But,’ use gentle confrontation to redirect the energy and focus of the person. Ask: “What is it you want to accomplish?’ Or point out: ‘It is important to consider solutions before you reject them.’ If the person insists there is no solution, suggest the need to learn ways to cope and cease complaining.
2. Encourage him/her to re-evaluate. Ask: ‘Do you
A company logo can be an invaluable marketing tool if created and used correctly. The logo is a memorable and meaningful representation of your company. It is important that you do not just blow off the design of your company logo. Hiring a professional design firm is well worth the money. Read these benefits of having a logo with superior design and you’ll see why.First ImpressionsFirst impressions are key in several areas of life. Think about how you wanted to make a great first impression anyone who has ever interviewed you. In the same way, your company logo is out there making first impressions to potential customers. For this reason you want your logo to represent your company in the best way possible. And the last thing you want is for your lo
3. Person doesn’t take responsibility for own behavior or solution to conflict. Blames others for problems, inadequacies, etc.
4. Person wants to elicit sympathy from others. ‘Ain’t it awful, I have it so bad here.’ Person wants to look superior by airing others’ faults, thus avoiding a recognition of how she/he is part of the problem and has a responsibility for the resolution.
5. Person is threatened by new information. Is unable to accept different and possibly easier ways of doing something. Feels inadequate and unable to change. Fears change.
What To Do
1. After second response of ‘Yes But,’ use gentle confrontation to redirect the energy and focus of the person. Ask: “What is it you want to accomplish?’ Or point out: ‘It is important to consider solutions before you reject them.’ If the person insists there is no solution, suggest the need to learn ways to cope and cease complaining.
2. Encourage him/her to re-evaluate. Ask: ‘Do you want to…?’ The appropriate response is: ‘Yes, I do.’ Or ‘No, I don’t’ If the person continues to play ‘Wooden Leg,’ intercede politely and ask another person a question to direct the group to a productive discussion.
3. Use questions to bring out other aspects. Ask: ‘Have you discussed the issue with those involved?’ Or: “Have you told those involved how you feel?’ Have you shared your ideas and opinions?’ Encourage the person to look at the situation from others’ perspective.
4. Empathize with the person’s situation. Avoid joining in the game of ‘Ain’t it Awful.’ Ask: What he/she does to change the situation. If person seeks to find solution, engage in problem-solving dialogue. If person switches to ‘wooden-leg.’ Empathize and refer to wooden leg dialogue above.
5. Avoid becoming embroiled in answering a series of questions about your qualifications. Empathize with person’s fear of change. Encourage person to discuss feelings regarding change and how they see themselves as change agents. Remember that fear often precipitates aggressive/obstinate behavior. Keep your temper; the person is not attacking you. Empathize with their reactions to the content.
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