and the third and it says: “This sounds mean and ugly almost vindictive.” The S2D2 says, “this is to protect you, franchising is very litigious.” Sally: “But these are our friends.” She looks at Jim and gives him a look, what are we getting ourselves into? The attorney also has an interesting look, a grin. Knowing that soon he will have much work defending them in lawsuits, he thinks to himself; gotta love these entrepreneurial suckers, so na?ve thinking they are going to do good in the world, help people get into business and make money at the same time, living in a dream world, oh well thankfully they do exist, although I am noticing a decline in such folks over the years, but this is live bait, and I will make all I can while they still have money. The S2D2 then starts smiling as they leave. Knowing he Jim and Sally run a successful auto business, which they have built up over two decades and have expanded to three stores and many of their friends keep saying, “You should Franchise.” They think about this for about five years read a few books, like “Franchising for Dummies,” The “E-Myth”, “The Franchising Bible” and many others on the shelves of the new big book store in town with the coffee shop inside. They finally decide that it makes sense especially as they have friends and loyal employees who wish to be associated with them and even own the first franchises. So they set out to franchise. They visit an attorney since that says in all the books to do. Most books about franchising are, at least in part if not whole, written by S2D2s (lawyers: S2P2s; Self-Serving Parasites of Planet) anyway, so they take that advice and visit an attorney. The S2D2 explains the MUD and helps by charging them a good chunk of change; $35,000 to prepare a boilerplate document which is so complicated they could not do it on their own without years of study. They give the S2D2 (scoundrel) the money and they look at the document and start asking questions. They do not ask him about the price gouging laws that their state has after all the flooding from the remnants of Hurricane Ivan, although they feel severally violated in the outrageous costs to prepare the documents. After all there is some new shop equipment they need to test cars to stay in compliance with the latest smog certificates and they are not cheap either. So they ask some typical questions instead of why they had to pay so much.

“But Mr. S2D2, we want to be fair and give this and that assistance to the new franchisees, Bob and Margaret are long time customers of our shop and friends. Joe has been working with our company seven years and they want to buy the first franchises. The S2D2 explains that the Federal Trade Commissions Franchise Group is doing this for the consumer’s protection. Jim and Sally understand this but what is all this about termination, litigation, arbitration or mediation? Why does it say we may give you this and that, of course we would support Bob and Margaret and Joe they are dear friends of ours and it is our name on the building, of course we are going to go out of our way to help them.”

The S2D2 says, “yes, I understand that but this is for your protection too.” Sally says, “great but, it sounds so vindictive and mean, why would anyone sign it?” The S2D2 says “there is much case law and history as to why these things are in these documents and they are to protect you, that what you are paying me for.” Jim thinks to himself, we are paying you to pick a fight with our new franchisees and long time dear friends. Attorneys are A-holes. They are our worst customers at the shop and I will never forget that time a one-week temporary worker hurt his hand because he was not paying attention, then sued us. Even though it was on his way to work or so he said, we had to fight the case, we won but it costs us $17,000, gosh, I hate attorneys. Jim just gives a slight aggravated look and gazes towards the window over looking the river and much of downtown. How can anyone call what this guy does work?

So Sally looks at the cover page and the second page and the third and it says: “This sounds mean and ugly almost vindictive.” The S2D2 says, “this is to protect you, franchising is very litigious.” Sally: “But these are our friends.” She looks at Jim and gives him a look, what are we getting ourselves into? The attorney also has an interesting look, a grin. Knowing that soon he will have much work defending them in lawsuits, he thinks to himself; gotta love these entrepreneurial suckers, so na?ve thinking they are going to do good in the world, help people get into business and make money at the same time, living in a dream world, oh well thankfully they do exist, although I am noticing a decline in such folks over the years, but this is live bait, and I will make all I can while they still have money. The S2D2 then starts smiling as they leave. Knowing he c

hat advice and visit an attorney. The S2D2 explains the MUD and helps by charging them a good chunk of change; $35,000 to prepare a boilerplate document which is so complicated they could not do it on their own without years of study. They give the S2D2 (scoundrel) the money and they look at the document and start asking questions. They do not ask him about the price gouging laws that their state has after all the flooding from the remnants of Hurricane Ivan, although they feel severally violated in the outrageous costs to prepare the documents. After all there is some new shop equipment they need to test cars to stay in compliance with the latest smog certificates and they are not cheap either. So they ask some typical questions instead of why they had to pay so much.

“But Mr. S2D2, we want to be fair and give this and that assistance to the new franchisees, Bob and Margaret are long time customers of our shop and friends. Joe has been working with our company seven years and they want to buy the first franchises. The S2D2 explains that the Federal Trade Commissions Franchise Group is doing this for the consumer’s protection. Jim and Sally understand this but what is all this about termination, litigation, arbitration or mediation? Why does it say we may give you this and that, of course we would support Bob and Margaret and Joe they are dear friends of ours and it is our name on the building, of course we are going to go out of our way to help them.”

The S2D2 says, “yes, I understand that but this is for your protection too.” Sally says, “great but, it sounds so vindictive and mean, why would anyone sign it?” The S2D2 says “there is much case law and history as to why these things are in these documents and they are to protect you, that what you are paying me for.” Jim thinks to himself, we are paying you to pick a fight with our new franchisees and long time dear friends. Attorneys are A-holes. They are our worst customers at the shop and I will never forget that time a one-week temporary worker hurt his hand because he was not paying attention, then sued us. Even though it was on his way to work or so he said, we had to fight the case, we won but it costs us $17,000, gosh, I hate attorneys. Jim just gives a slight aggravated look and gazes towards the window over looking the river and much of downtown. How can anyone call what this guy does work?

So Sally looks at the cover page and the second page and the third and it says: “This sounds mean and ugly almost vindictive.” The S2D2 says, “this is to protect you, franchising is very litigious.” Sally: “But these are our friends.” She looks at Jim and gives him a look, what are we getting ourselves into? The attorney also has an interesting look, a grin. Knowing that soon he will have much work defending them in lawsuits, he thinks to himself; gotta love these entrepreneurial suckers, so na?ve thinking they are going to do good in the world, help people get into business and make money at the same time, living in a dream world, oh well thankfully they do exist, although I am noticing a decline in such folks over the years, but this is live bait, and I will make all I can while they still have money. The S2D2 then starts smiling as they leave. Knowing he

d give this and that assistance to the new franchisees, Bob and Margaret are long time customers of our shop and friends. Joe has been working with our company seven years and they want to buy the first franchises. The S2D2 explains that the Federal Trade Commissions Franchise Group is doing this for the consumer’s protection. Jim and Sally understand this but what is all this about termination, litigation, arbitration or mediation? Why does it say we may give you this and that, of course we would support Bob and Margaret and Joe they are dear friends of ours and it is our name on the building, of course we are going to go out of our way to help them.”

The S2D2 says, “yes, I understand that but this is for your protection too.” Sally says, “great but, it sounds so vindictive and mean, why would anyone sign it?” The S2D2 says “there is much case law and history as to why these things are in these documents and they are to protect you, that what you are paying me for.” Jim thinks to himself, we are paying you to pick a fight with our new franchisees and long time dear friends. Attorneys are A-holes. They are our worst customers at the shop and I will never forget that time a one-week temporary worker hurt his hand because he was not paying attention, then sued us. Even though it was on his way to work or so he said, we had to fight the case, we won but it costs us $17,000, gosh, I hate attorneys. Jim just gives a slight aggravated look and gazes towards the window over looking the river and much of downtown. How can anyone call what this guy does work?

So Sally looks at the cover page and the second page and the third and it says: “This sounds mean and ugly almost vindictive.” The S2D2 says, “this is to protect you, franchising is very litigious.” Sally: “But these are our friends.” She looks at Jim and gives him a look, what are we getting ourselves into? The attorney also has an interesting look, a grin. Knowing that soon he will have much work defending them in lawsuits, he thinks to himself; gotta love these entrepreneurial suckers, so na?ve thinking they are going to do good in the world, help people get into business and make money at the same time, living in a dream world, oh well thankfully they do exist, although I am noticing a decline in such folks over the years, but this is live bait, and I will make all I can while they still have money. The S2D2 then starts smiling as they leave. Knowing he

gn it?” The S2D2 says “there is much case law and history as to why these things are in these documents and they are to protect you, that what you are paying me for.” Jim thinks to himself, we are paying you to pick a fight with our new franchisees and long time dear friends. Attorneys are A-holes. They are our worst customers at the shop and I will never forget that time a one-week temporary worker hurt his hand because he was not paying attention, then sued us. Even though it was on his way to work or so he said, we had to fight the case, we won but it costs us $17,000, gosh, I hate attorneys. Jim just gives a slight aggravated look and gazes towards the window over looking the river and much of downtown. How can anyone call what this guy does work?

So Sally looks at the cover page and the second page and the third and it says: “This sounds mean and ugly almost vindictive.” The S2D2 says, “this is to protect you, franchising is very litigious.” Sally: “But these are our friends.” She looks at Jim and gives him a look, what are we getting ourselves into? The attorney also has an interesting look, a grin. Knowing that soon he will have much work defending them in lawsuits, he thinks to himself; gotta love these entrepreneurial suckers, so na?ve thinking they are going to do good in the world, help people get into business and make money at the same time, living in a dream world, oh well thankfully they do exist, although I am noticing a decline in such folks over the years, but this is live bait, and I will make all I can while they still have money. The S2D2 then starts smiling as they leave. Knowing he

and the third and it says: “This sounds mean and ugly almost vindictive.” The S2D2 says, “this is to protect you, franchising is very litigious.” Sally: “But these are our friends.” She looks at Jim and gives him a look, what are we getting ourselves into? The attorney also has an interesting look, a grin. Knowing that soon he will have much work defending them in lawsuits, he thinks to himself; gotta love these entrepreneurial suckers, so na?ve thinking they are going to do good in the world, help people get into business and make money at the same time, living in a dream world, oh well thankfully they do exist, although I am noticing a decline in such folks over the years, but this is live bait, and I will make all I can while they still have money. The S2D2 then starts smiling as they leave. Knowing he can return the favor to some of his fellow attorneys nearby who specialize in divorce law and bankruptcy, etc. He has seen it before, good companies franchise and then the lawsuits, divorce and bankruptcy, he can smell it. He does not think more than a second or two that he and his S2D2 are the cause of all of it. Even if we are, we deserve the money, we are smarter than everyone else, have spent years learning all this dribble and besides I need another new BMW and the golf membership is coming due. Must keep up with the boys to continue to get those referrals.

Jim and Sally are having second thoughts, but are committed to the plan and already have the first three franchises sold to family, friends and loyal employees. “We promised Jim, we gave them our word, they are counting on us.” “Yes, but Sally, I really hate attorneys, they seem so cold and they don’t care, look at what he is charging us?” Sally says, “yes I know, but if we sell enough franchises we can send our kids to law school, that is where all the money is, look how hard we work to build a business and that fat cat attorney, just sits in that office with the view and works a few hours a day and that paralegal in the back seems to do all the work.” Jim observes; “You know Sally, I really want to do this, we have worked so hard. Hey did you notice the way the secretary was looking at the attorney? I think they have something going there? Well maybe he is doing the paralegal too?” Sally says “ yes I think you are right about the secretary, but the paralegal is definitely gay, you really think so?” Jim says, “Heck, yes, he seems like the squirrelly type, I do not trust him.” Sally says “But, Jim you know his wife is a VIP in town? I agree with your comments did you notice how fast the attorney took you up on that offer too give his car free service?” Jim “Says, well the lawyers are a necessary evil, we ought to double the price whenever they come in with cars to the shop.” Sally says, we ought to deny them service, so they do not try to sue us.” Jim says “Yah, but there is probably some law against it and then they really would sue us, maybe we should just defer to Caesar on this one?” Sally agrees, “Caesar was Right!” Jim shouts, “Take no prisoners, kill them all, ha, ha, ha.” Jim gets on the on ramp and lets all 455 cubic inches roar. “We’re gonna pass everything but a gas station from here on out!”

The next day, Jim and Sally are over the negative observations and Jim says “Well now we have the documents let’s go visit our future franchisees, finally after four months of paperwork.” Sally smiles. Jim says “you know I love you honey, we are finally going to do this.” Sally says “good, for a second I thought you had the hots for that paralegal, he was sure checking your rear end out.” Jim says “oh great! But I think I am more worried about his boss trying to screw both of us in some bizarre three-some.”

You see Mr. Federal Trade Commission this is how it all starts, it all starts out on the wrong foot. Why? This MUD is clouding the reasoning and strength of franchising. Franchising is a win-win situation, when it is buried in MUD it creates an adversarial relationship from the beginning.

Jim and Sally are ready and they call the atto