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Other Added - Great Breaking Presidential News: Taylor Jones, The Hack Writer, Announces His Hat Is In The Ring
When you're ready to buy a new home, you'll need to get a mortgage loan from a mortgage lender. But if you recently declared bankruptcy, you may think you have no chances of being approved for a loan. However, there are ways to get a mortgage loan after bankruptcy.Pay a little more.Because bankruptcy makes you a "high risk" borrower, lenders will most likely charge you higher interest rates and more fees. They need a way to cover their costs if you should default on the loan, so they pass the risk onto you by increasing the amount you pay for the loan. Expect to pay at least a few extra percent on your interest rate--sometimes as much as 5% more! Your fees will be higher, too, and chances are there will be more of them as well.Wait a little bit.Do you need to own your home this year? If you can wait just two years, you may be able to find a lender who will approve you for a mortgage loan with more re
“I fought in Korea with the 17th Infantry Regimental Combat Team. That war is officially still on. We are merely at a seize fire. I’ll just let the war go on as it has been going on since I left.”
Clammy said, “But they have the BOMB and now they are going to launch new long-range missiles. That is a real threat!”
Jones said, “Don’t worry! I’ll have a nuclear sub or two just off shore. If our spy satellites pick up the heat of a rocket engine or they spot a missile trail, my orders will be to retaliate immediately.
“We won’t have time to guess where the missile might be headed.
“I’ll warn the North Koreans that they should make sure their hot plates don’t require more than 1000 watts. They shouldn’t gun the engines of their trucks, tanks, or helicopters either.”
Clammy said, “This is all a joke isn’t it? You are not really running for President of the United States, are you?”
Jones said, “I am running for President of the United States. Not only that, I expect to get elected.
“I’m taking 90 percent of the assets of those corporate thieves who have been stealing from the stock holders and the tax payers.”
The business world has seen many successful and loyal partnerships, yet few have been as enduring through difficult times as the partnership between Kmart and Martha Stewart.The relationship started more than a decade ago when then CEO Ben Fauber signed the relatively unknown former model to design a line of home fashions for Kmart. Soon Fauber would exit and Joe Antonini would further expand the product line, making Martha Stewart one of the most well-known names in households across the nation. Martha's talent and steadfastness landed television and print media deals that catapulted her career.Although the partnership seemed unshakable, conflict arrived when the two partners began to argue over royalty calculations. It was 2000 and Kmart's financial problems, even though the cash flow trouble was denied by Kmart, caused Kmart to seek a more favorable calculation of the percentages and when they were paid. The move caused many inside
In an interview with Clammy Hands of the South Central Idaho Presidential News Jones said, “Being President is the best job available for a retired old man. It obviously requires no talent nor sincere effort since the President can surround himself with talented people all at the expense of the public. He doesn’t even have to speak for himself because he has a Press Secretary who will always keep the public guessing as to what the President is thinking.”
Clammy Hands said, “I guess you will be running as a Democrat?”
Jones said, “Why do you say that?
"As a kid, I use to go to the Jackson Day outings at the Lagoon or Saltair Resorts in Utah when my dad was president of the Sage Brush Democratic Club.
"As an adult I went to a Republican dinner in Nevada, Iowa with my fellow professor, Dr. Bell.
“I learned this:
“Every Democrat wants everybody to have a piece of the pie.
“Each Republican wants the pie ALL for himself.
“My paternal grandmother would roll over in her grave if I ran as a Republican, even though she should have been a Republican because her family was on the first wagon train after the Pioneer Company to arrive in the Salt Lake Valley in 1847.
“I’m running as a Demopubsocialist, leaning to the right and then to the left as needed.
"I’m sure that both parties will endorse me as they did my father when he was auditor of Salt Lake City.
“Like father, like son!”
Then Clammy Hands shook her blond curls and asked, “You already have everything you need. Why would you want to be President, especially since President Bush has completely screwed things up by starting Bush War II?”
Jones said, “I’ll stop the war by Presidential Edict. I’ll just say to the Troop Commanders, ‘Get our boys out of there by sundown!'
“Then I’ll cut all funding to Halliburton and tell them to get their butts home on their own hook and that there will be an accounting.
"That will take care of Iraq.”
Clammy said, “What abut Afghanistan?”
Jones said, “Afghanistan, Banana Stand!
“I’ll get our troops out of there too.
"I know darned well that Osama bin Laden is hiding in Mecca. We won’t find him on the Pakistan Afghanistan border, will we?”
Clammy asked about the prisoners illegally held in Cuba.
“Simple!” said Jones. “Well leave the gates open one night. They will be able to sneak into Cuba proper and then catch a raft to Miami.
"They’ll disappear into the crowd.”
Clammy said, “Most Americans are concerned about the National Debt. What would you do there?”
Jones said, “I’d leave that for Jeb Bush to handle when he becomes President.
“Meanwhile, the congressmen and women will have to bring sack lunches. There will be no subsidizing of the Capital Restaurants.
“The Congress will have to pay for their own travel wherever they go. They will have no expense accounts.
“If their constituents want to see them they will be able to do that while the Congress is adjourned from January 4th until December 19th of each year.”
Clammy said, “Do you mean that Congress will be in session for just a couple of weeks each year? Who will do the work? Besides, what congressman or woman is going to want to have to work over Christmas and New Years?”
Jones answered, “Not their aids. They won’t have any that are paid by the people.
"Besides, we don’t need any new laws. We just need to burn most of the old ones.
“And I might add, the constitutional requirements for election to Congress will be changed. You will have to be a veteran who is handicapped due to war and must require a sturdy walker, a wheelchair, or a white cane to get around.
“Even then, you will get paid only for time worked in your office in Washington, two weeks maximum at the minimum hourly wage.”
Clammy asked, “Well, what about public lands and such? Who will govern those activities?”
Jones, “What public lands? The Federal Government will give up title to all federally owned public lands within 30 days of my election.
“The states will have three months to give out 360 acre parcels by lottery except for lands containing good fishing and hunting. Fishing and hunting lands will be deeded to the states to be managed for hunting and fishing purposes only.
“The lottery winners will have the opportunity to either sell the land, lease the land, live on the land or return it to the state to be given out at a future clean-up lottery.”
Clammy said, “You've just about got everything covered, haven't you? Some people are going to say you are crazy. What about Yellowstone Park?”
Jones replied, “Some people know that I’m crazy.
“All National Parks will be given to the Indians of the resident state. They can run them as concessions or lock the gates.”
Clammy said, “I know you want to go fishing, but can you answer one more question? What about Korea?”
Presidential Candidate Jones said, “I’ll have plenty of time to go fishing with Dick Cheney after I’m elected.
“I fought in Korea with the 17th Infantry Regimental Combat Team. That war is officially still on. We are merely at a seize fire. I’ll just let the war go on as it has been going on since I left.”
Clammy said, “But they have the BOMB and now they are going to launch new long-range missiles. That is a real threat!”
Jones said, “Don’t worry! I’ll have a nuclear sub or two just off shore. If our spy satellites pick up the heat of a rocket engine or they spot a missile trail, my orders will be to retaliate immediately.
“We won’t have time to guess where the missile might be headed.
“I’ll warn the North Koreans that they should make sure their hot plates don’t require more than 1000 watts. They shouldn’t gun the engines of their trucks, tanks, or helicopters either.”
Clammy said, “This is all a joke isn’t it? You are not really running for President of the United States, are you?”
Jones said, “I am running for President of the United States. Not only that, I expect to get elected.
“I’m taking 90 percent of the assets of those corporate thieves who have been stealing from the stock holders and the tax payers.”
C
Just about every book promotion article I have read suggests that the author launch a public library marketing campaign by sending hundreds of letters to libraries nationwide. The problem with doing this is twofold. First, it is expensive and time consuming, and second, it is not very effective. I recently read a case about an author that mailed out letters to 1,500 libraries to promote his book and the entire campaign resulted in one sale that he could attribute to the mailing campaign. That sure doesn't sound very cost effective to me.Public libraries do not typically add titles to their collections based on mail solicitations, they base their purchase selections on a book's popularity and whether or not patrons are requesting it. Furthermore, despite the urban myth, most do not care if your book has a Library of Congress Catalog Number either, they only care that it is in demand and prefer that it is still in print. Thus, if you wan
“I’m running as a Demopubsocialist, leaning to the right and then to the left as needed.
"I’m sure that both parties will endorse me as they did my father when he was auditor of Salt Lake City.
“Like father, like son!”
Then Clammy Hands shook her blond curls and asked, “You already have everything you need. Why would you want to be President, especially since President Bush has completely screwed things up by starting Bush War II?”
Jones said, “I’ll stop the war by Presidential Edict. I’ll just say to the Troop Commanders, ‘Get our boys out of there by sundown!'
“Then I’ll cut all funding to Halliburton and tell them to get their butts home on their own hook and that there will be an accounting.
"That will take care of Iraq.”
Clammy said, “What abut Afghanistan?”
Jones said, “Afghanistan, Banana Stand!
“I’ll get our troops out of there too.
"I know darned well that Osama bin Laden is hiding in Mecca. We won’t find him on the Pakistan Afghanistan border, will we?”
Clammy asked about the prisoners illegally held in Cuba.
“Simple!” said Jones. “Well leave the gates open one night. They will be able to sneak into Cuba proper and then catch a raft to Miami.
"They’ll disappear into the crowd.”
Clammy said, “Most Americans are concerned about the National Debt. What would you do there?”
Jones said, “I’d leave that for Jeb Bush to handle when he becomes President.
“Meanwhile, the congressmen and women will have to bring sack lunches. There will be no subsidizing of the Capital Restaurants.
“The Congress will have to pay for their own travel wherever they go. They will have no expense accounts.
“If their constituents want to see them they will be able to do that while the Congress is adjourned from January 4th until December 19th of each year.”
Clammy said, “Do you mean that Congress will be in session for just a couple of weeks each year? Who will do the work? Besides, what congressman or woman is going to want to have to work over Christmas and New Years?”
Jones answered, “Not their aids. They won’t have any that are paid by the people.
"Besides, we don’t need any new laws. We just need to burn most of the old ones.
“And I might add, the constitutional requirements for election to Congress will be changed. You will have to be a veteran who is handicapped due to war and must require a sturdy walker, a wheelchair, or a white cane to get around.
“Even then, you will get paid only for time worked in your office in Washington, two weeks maximum at the minimum hourly wage.”
Clammy asked, “Well, what about public lands and such? Who will govern those activities?”
Jones, “What public lands? The Federal Government will give up title to all federally owned public lands within 30 days of my election.
“The states will have three months to give out 360 acre parcels by lottery except for lands containing good fishing and hunting. Fishing and hunting lands will be deeded to the states to be managed for hunting and fishing purposes only.
“The lottery winners will have the opportunity to either sell the land, lease the land, live on the land or return it to the state to be given out at a future clean-up lottery.”
Clammy said, “You've just about got everything covered, haven't you? Some people are going to say you are crazy. What about Yellowstone Park?”
Jones replied, “Some people know that I’m crazy.
“All National Parks will be given to the Indians of the resident state. They can run them as concessions or lock the gates.”
Clammy said, “I know you want to go fishing, but can you answer one more question? What about Korea?”
Presidential Candidate Jones said, “I’ll have plenty of time to go fishing with Dick Cheney after I’m elected.
“I fought in Korea with the 17th Infantry Regimental Combat Team. That war is officially still on. We are merely at a seize fire. I’ll just let the war go on as it has been going on since I left.”
Clammy said, “But they have the BOMB and now they are going to launch new long-range missiles. That is a real threat!”
Jones said, “Don’t worry! I’ll have a nuclear sub or two just off shore. If our spy satellites pick up the heat of a rocket engine or they spot a missile trail, my orders will be to retaliate immediately.
“We won’t have time to guess where the missile might be headed.
“I’ll warn the North Koreans that they should make sure their hot plates don’t require more than 1000 watts. They shouldn’t gun the engines of their trucks, tanks, or helicopters either.”
Clammy said, “This is all a joke isn’t it? You are not really running for President of the United States, are you?”
Jones said, “I am running for President of the United States. Not only that, I expect to get elected.
“I’m taking 90 percent of the assets of those corporate thieves who have been stealing from the stock holders and the tax payers.”
Is the special treatment you designed specifically to keep customers coming back working against you?A local jeweler offers free lifetime battery replacement for any watch he sells. It's a good hook to keep customers walking back in the store on a regular basis and increases his sales volume.But, it's backfired on him. And he's lost at least one customer because of it.He's run into a problem getting the batteries he needs and now has to send a customer's watch off to the manufacturer which lengthens the turn around time for the repair. One customer got so irate she's sworn she'll never do business with him again. Oops. Thousands of dollars of business lost over a $6 battery.What are the perks you provide for your customers? Does it make their life simpler, save them money or time? Or has it turned into a problem that's driving them away?You need to make sure it isn't. When you first roll out a customer perk, you n
"They’ll disappear into the crowd.”
Clammy said, “Most Americans are concerned about the National Debt. What would you do there?”
Jones said, “I’d leave that for Jeb Bush to handle when he becomes President.
“Meanwhile, the congressmen and women will have to bring sack lunches. There will be no subsidizing of the Capital Restaurants.
“The Congress will have to pay for their own travel wherever they go. They will have no expense accounts.
“If their constituents want to see them they will be able to do that while the Congress is adjourned from January 4th until December 19th of each year.”
Clammy said, “Do you mean that Congress will be in session for just a couple of weeks each year? Who will do the work? Besides, what congressman or woman is going to want to have to work over Christmas and New Years?”
Jones answered, “Not their aids. They won’t have any that are paid by the people.
"Besides, we don’t need any new laws. We just need to burn most of the old ones.
“And I might add, the constitutional requirements for election to Congress will be changed. You will have to be a veteran who is handicapped due to war and must require a sturdy walker, a wheelchair, or a white cane to get around.
“Even then, you will get paid only for time worked in your office in Washington, two weeks maximum at the minimum hourly wage.”
Clammy asked, “Well, what about public lands and such? Who will govern those activities?”
Jones, “What public lands? The Federal Government will give up title to all federally owned public lands within 30 days of my election.
“The states will have three months to give out 360 acre parcels by lottery except for lands containing good fishing and hunting. Fishing and hunting lands will be deeded to the states to be managed for hunting and fishing purposes only.
“The lottery winners will have the opportunity to either sell the land, lease the land, live on the land or return it to the state to be given out at a future clean-up lottery.”
Clammy said, “You've just about got everything covered, haven't you? Some people are going to say you are crazy. What about Yellowstone Park?”
Jones replied, “Some people know that I’m crazy.
“All National Parks will be given to the Indians of the resident state. They can run them as concessions or lock the gates.”
Clammy said, “I know you want to go fishing, but can you answer one more question? What about Korea?”
Presidential Candidate Jones said, “I’ll have plenty of time to go fishing with Dick Cheney after I’m elected.
“I fought in Korea with the 17th Infantry Regimental Combat Team. That war is officially still on. We are merely at a seize fire. I’ll just let the war go on as it has been going on since I left.”
Clammy said, “But they have the BOMB and now they are going to launch new long-range missiles. That is a real threat!”
Jones said, “Don’t worry! I’ll have a nuclear sub or two just off shore. If our spy satellites pick up the heat of a rocket engine or they spot a missile trail, my orders will be to retaliate immediately.
“We won’t have time to guess where the missile might be headed.
“I’ll warn the North Koreans that they should make sure their hot plates don’t require more than 1000 watts. They shouldn’t gun the engines of their trucks, tanks, or helicopters either.”
Clammy said, “This is all a joke isn’t it? You are not really running for President of the United States, are you?”
Jones said, “I am running for President of the United States. Not only that, I expect to get elected.
“I’m taking 90 percent of the assets of those corporate thieves who have been stealing from the stock holders and the tax payers.”
A joint venture is when two or more businesses work together in a partnership for a period of time. Joint ventures are used frequently online because two businesses together can usually achieve a lot more than one on its own. Joint ventures maximise the possibility of beating your online competition. Here are 8 exciting ideas which will show you how profitable joint ventures can really be.1. Exchanging links with related websites are the most popular joint ventures online today. Not only are link exchanges completely free but they are also long lasting. You can guarantee that your link will stay on their website for a lasting period of time. Doing link exchanges with websites of the same subject as yours also brings in a flow of incredibly targeted visitors who you can be sure will be interested in your product or service.2. Combine your product with another website’s product to make a package. You could split the profits and
“Even then, you will get paid only for time worked in your office in Washington, two weeks maximum at the minimum hourly wage.”
Clammy asked, “Well, what about public lands and such? Who will govern those activities?”
Jones, “What public lands? The Federal Government will give up title to all federally owned public lands within 30 days of my election.
“The states will have three months to give out 360 acre parcels by lottery except for lands containing good fishing and hunting. Fishing and hunting lands will be deeded to the states to be managed for hunting and fishing purposes only.
“The lottery winners will have the opportunity to either sell the land, lease the land, live on the land or return it to the state to be given out at a future clean-up lottery.”
Clammy said, “You've just about got everything covered, haven't you? Some people are going to say you are crazy. What about Yellowstone Park?”
Jones replied, “Some people know that I’m crazy.
“All National Parks will be given to the Indians of the resident state. They can run them as concessions or lock the gates.”
Clammy said, “I know you want to go fishing, but can you answer one more question? What about Korea?”
Presidential Candidate Jones said, “I’ll have plenty of time to go fishing with Dick Cheney after I’m elected.
“I fought in Korea with the 17th Infantry Regimental Combat Team. That war is officially still on. We are merely at a seize fire. I’ll just let the war go on as it has been going on since I left.”
Clammy said, “But they have the BOMB and now they are going to launch new long-range missiles. That is a real threat!”
Jones said, “Don’t worry! I’ll have a nuclear sub or two just off shore. If our spy satellites pick up the heat of a rocket engine or they spot a missile trail, my orders will be to retaliate immediately.
“We won’t have time to guess where the missile might be headed.
“I’ll warn the North Koreans that they should make sure their hot plates don’t require more than 1000 watts. They shouldn’t gun the engines of their trucks, tanks, or helicopters either.”
Clammy said, “This is all a joke isn’t it? You are not really running for President of the United States, are you?”
Jones said, “I am running for President of the United States. Not only that, I expect to get elected.
“I’m taking 90 percent of the assets of those corporate thieves who have been stealing from the stock holders and the tax payers.”
The answer to that question is often no. Term life insurance is not usually, if ever, something you can just pick up the phone and order – and if it is, be skeptical! Most reputable term life insurance companies require potential policy holders to undergo a medical exam as part of the application process; however, this is not something to worry about. Depending on your physical condition, your location, and the term life insurance company you are making your application to, you may be able to receive the medical exam in the comfort of your own home. The medical exam required of term life insurance applicants is usually not a long process – all in all, expect the exam to last anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes. More good news is that your term life insurance medical exam is usually free. When you head out for your term life insurance medical exam, you can expect several things – all of which are normal of any g
“I fought in Korea with the 17th Infantry Regimental Combat Team. That war is officially still on. We are merely at a seize fire. I’ll just let the war go on as it has been going on since I left.”
Clammy said, “But they have the BOMB and now they are going to launch new long-range missiles. That is a real threat!”
Jones said, “Don’t worry! I’ll have a nuclear sub or two just off shore. If our spy satellites pick up the heat of a rocket engine or they spot a missile trail, my orders will be to retaliate immediately.
“We won’t have time to guess where the missile might be headed.
“I’ll warn the North Koreans that they should make sure their hot plates don’t require more than 1000 watts. They shouldn’t gun the engines of their trucks, tanks, or helicopters either.”
Clammy said, “This is all a joke isn’t it? You are not really running for President of the United States, are you?”
Jones said, “I am running for President of the United States. Not only that, I expect to get elected.
“I’m taking 90 percent of the assets of those corporate thieves who have been stealing from the stock holders and the tax payers.”
Clammy Hands said, “And you are going to give that money to the stockholders and the people?”
Jones replied, “Are you kidding? That is going into those defunct pension plans that the government is funding. Yes, all that money will eventually end up in the hands of old folks where it belongs.”
Clammy said, “I guess you are serious. That about covers it for now.
“But what about your comment about going fishing with Dick Cheney?
“Don’t you think that will hurt your chances of getting elected?”
Jones said, “The people here out west will know what I’ll be up to.
I’ve got this saying that I learned from ground squirrel watching:
If you don’t want to get bit by a rattlesnake, you had better keep your eye on the snake.”
Candidate Jones was also asked how he would handle the illegal immigrations problem. He said as the jumped into his old pickup, "Puerto Rico is the answer.
Mexicans and Central and South Americans would have to raft to Puerto Rico to pick up a birth certificate before the could immigrate to the mainland."
Clammy Hands said he winked at her as he left.
The End
Politics, president, election, Dick, Cheney, office, war, national debt, humor, rattlesnake, Congress
copyright©2006 John T. Jones, Ph.D.
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