oyut motivation. The underlying thoughts, however, are not lurking there creating any form of self-censorship. No. If anything they are muddying my vision, because the real question swirling around motivation for me is, "who am I trying to please?" A forty-one year old man, and I STILL waver regarding whom I'm trying to please: my self, my family, my parents, my friends, my [bent spoon] audience? WhenOver ten years ago I took a couple of playwriting classes that helped change how I see the world.

The cliche of art imitating life really holds true in playwriting where there is conflict, construct, and most importantly, motivation. Motivation is everything.

Art that parodies film-making and acting will almost always have a character ask, "but what's my motivation?" (Best asked with a terrible British accent. Well what IS your motivation? Within art and outside of art. And today, I guess, I'm asking what is MY motivation?

Why contstuct an e-zine? Why continue a blog? Is it simply for self-expression, uncaring of what others think? Absolutely...not. Self-expression is a desire, but underlying that self-expression is the uncontrollable need to be heard (or in this case, read). Why do you think I have a Google traffic counter plugged into this e-zine? I can see how many new people come to the site, and how many of you kind folks return to consume this somethimes directionless drivel.

But today I DO have a direction. I see that bent spoon is a workshop -- a place where I can keep exercising my writing, shaping my ideas, and find relatively rapid feedback. And what have I learned so far? It's wonderfully obvious that the closer a piece of writing is to the heart, the more well received it is. Case in point: My Grandmother Died Today. That piece received a lot of traffic. I also wrote that piece in about fifteen minutes. It was about as raw and honest as anything I've written here.

And today's piece? It's honest. It's not too raw, but underlying it are my thoughts aboyut motivation. The underlying thoughts, however, are not lurking there creating any form of self-censorship. No. If anything they are muddying my vision, because the real question swirling around motivation for me is, "who am I trying to please?" A forty-one year old man, and I STILL waver regarding whom I'm trying to please: my self, my family, my parents, my friends, my [bent spoon] audience? When

rible British accent. Well what IS your motivation? Within art and outside of art. And today, I guess, I'm asking what is MY motivation?

Why contstuct an e-zine? Why continue a blog? Is it simply for self-expression, uncaring of what others think? Absolutely...not. Self-expression is a desire, but underlying that self-expression is the uncontrollable need to be heard (or in this case, read). Why do you think I have a Google traffic counter plugged into this e-zine? I can see how many new people come to the site, and how many of you kind folks return to consume this somethimes directionless drivel.

But today I DO have a direction. I see that bent spoon is a workshop -- a place where I can keep exercising my writing, shaping my ideas, and find relatively rapid feedback. And what have I learned so far? It's wonderfully obvious that the closer a piece of writing is to the heart, the more well received it is. Case in point: My Grandmother Died Today. That piece received a lot of traffic. I also wrote that piece in about fifteen minutes. It was about as raw and honest as anything I've written here.

And today's piece? It's honest. It's not too raw, but underlying it are my thoughts aboyut motivation. The underlying thoughts, however, are not lurking there creating any form of self-censorship. No. If anything they are muddying my vision, because the real question swirling around motivation for me is, "who am I trying to please?" A forty-one year old man, and I STILL waver regarding whom I'm trying to please: my self, my family, my parents, my friends, my [bent spoon] audience? When

do you think I have a Google traffic counter plugged into this e-zine? I can see how many new people come to the site, and how many of you kind folks return to consume this somethimes directionless drivel.

But today I DO have a direction. I see that bent spoon is a workshop -- a place where I can keep exercising my writing, shaping my ideas, and find relatively rapid feedback. And what have I learned so far? It's wonderfully obvious that the closer a piece of writing is to the heart, the more well received it is. Case in point: My Grandmother Died Today. That piece received a lot of traffic. I also wrote that piece in about fifteen minutes. It was about as raw and honest as anything I've written here.

And today's piece? It's honest. It's not too raw, but underlying it are my thoughts aboyut motivation. The underlying thoughts, however, are not lurking there creating any form of self-censorship. No. If anything they are muddying my vision, because the real question swirling around motivation for me is, "who am I trying to please?" A forty-one year old man, and I STILL waver regarding whom I'm trying to please: my self, my family, my parents, my friends, my [bent spoon] audience? When

arned so far? It's wonderfully obvious that the closer a piece of writing is to the heart, the more well received it is. Case in point: My Grandmother Died Today. That piece received a lot of traffic. I also wrote that piece in about fifteen minutes. It was about as raw and honest as anything I've written here.

And today's piece? It's honest. It's not too raw, but underlying it are my thoughts aboyut motivation. The underlying thoughts, however, are not lurking there creating any form of self-censorship. No. If anything they are muddying my vision, because the real question swirling around motivation for me is, "who am I trying to please?" A forty-one year old man, and I STILL waver regarding whom I'm trying to please: my self, my family, my parents, my friends, my [bent spoon] audience? When

oyut motivation. The underlying thoughts, however, are not lurking there creating any form of self-censorship. No. If anything they are muddying my vision, because the real question swirling around motivation for me is, "who am I trying to please?" A forty-one year old man, and I STILL waver regarding whom I'm trying to please: my self, my family, my parents, my friends, my [bent spoon] audience? When I'm writing am I un-knowingly self-censoring in order to direct a piece into something that a single person, or group of persons will like better?

To be as honest with my self as I can, the answer would have to be yes. But how to you discontinue something that you know you are doing un-knowingly? OK. Wrap your arms around that.

I guess the answer to that is continue to write, in a place like bent spoon, until you can see in your work a repetition of honesty.

Originally published at bentspoon.net.