My boss was called into her manager's office and, half an hour later and still in tears, she started clearing out her desk. To this day I don't know the official reason for her firing, but I suspect that she was the designated scapegoat for a project that was behind schedule and getting later. In truth, there was plenty of blame to spread around, but she got whacked - it still doesn't seem fair.

It was a tragedy for her, but it was also bewildering and embarassing for the rest of her team and for her friends around the company. How should we react? In the event, we didn't handle it very well, but here's what I've learned since then:

• Don't pretend nothing happened
  I suppose this sounds pretty elementary, but there's a strong urge to not get involved because it's pretty hard to share her pain. But she needs you to acknowlege that she's been fired and that it will affect you - it's one way of showing that you're a friend and you care.
• Don't ask about the details
  If she wants to tell you why she was fired, she will; but it's not polite or helpful to pry into the matter. Accept the company's version until she feels safe enough to tell you her side of the story.
• Empathize, don't sympathize
  It's okay to say, "I'm so sorry that this happened to you, and I'll miss you." But don't say, "This happened to me once and I know just how you feel." In the first place, you don't know that your experience is anything at all like hers, and in the second place it sounds like a bid for attention.
• Tell her how you feel
  If she's a good friend and you'll miss her, tell her so. If you're mad at the company, share that with her. Being honest about your emotions will help her manage her own anger and sadness.
• If she wants to talk, just listen
  She may want to talk about the experience right away, or maybe next week, or perhaps never at all. But if she does want to tell you what happened, how she's feeling, and what she's worried about, be an active listener. Make sure you've got plenty of time to listen, find a private space, and give her your full attention while she talks. Try to be 100% present for her, not worrying about this afternoon's meeting. Respond if it feels appropriate, but don't feel that this needs to be a conversation - she mainly needs someone to really listen while she sorts things out.
• Stay in touch with her
  If you're friends, be sure to stay in touch with her after she leaves to let her know you haven't forgotten her. It may be that your friendship fades over time if you don't see her at work every day, but at least at first she needs to know that someone values her. So take her out to lunch a few days after she leaves.
• Get back to work
  Don't try to be a hero and get her reinstated. Don't kick the boss's door down and yell at him. A definitely don't spread nasty rumors about "what really happened." None of this will help her and it will definitely hurt you. Just learn whatever lessons are to be learned and get back to doing yo
  Write a Cover Letter That Makes the Difference
  The Art of the Cover Letter Hiring managers often receive hundreds, or even thousands, of applications for a given job. To avoid having your resume sink in a sea of paper or electronic files, it’s essential to write a cover letter that stands out and makes a great first impression.Here’s how:Rule #1: Keep Up Appearances Your resume and cover letter must be aesthetically pleasing and consistent in appe
  y well, but here's what I've learned since then:
  • Don't pretend nothing happened
    I suppose this sounds pretty elementary, but there's a strong urge to not get involved because it's pretty hard to share her pain. But she needs you to acknowlege that she's been fired and that it will affect you - it's one way of showing that you're a friend and you care.
  • Don't ask about the details
    If she wants to tell you why she was fired, she will; but it's not polite or helpful to pry into the matter. Accept the company's version until she feels safe enough to tell you her side of the story.
  • Empathize, don't sympathize
    It's okay to say, "I'm so sorry that this happened to you, and I'll miss you." But don't say, "This happened to me once and I know just how you feel." In the first place, you don't know that your experience is anything at all like hers, and in the second place it sounds like a bid for attention.
  • Tell her how you feel
    If she's a good friend and you'll miss her, tell her so. If you're mad at the company, share that with her. Being honest about your emotions will help her manage her own anger and sadness.
  • If she wants to talk, just listen
    She may want to talk about the experience right away, or maybe next week, or perhaps never at all. But if she does want to tell you what happened, how she's feeling, and what she's worried about, be an active listener. Make sure you've got plenty of time to listen, find a private space, and give her your full attention while she talks. Try to be 100% present for her, not worrying about this afternoon's meeting. Respond if it feels appropriate, but don't feel that this needs to be a conversation - she mainly needs someone to really listen while she sorts things out.
  • Stay in touch with her
    If you're friends, be sure to stay in touch with her after she leaves to let her know you haven't forgotten her. It may be that your friendship fades over time if you don't see her at work every day, but at least at first she needs to know that someone values her. So take her out to lunch a few days after she leaves.
  • Get back to work
    Don't try to be a hero and get her reinstated. Don't kick the boss's door down and yell at him. A definitely don't spread nasty rumors about "what really happened." None of this will help her and it will definitely hurt you. Just learn whatever lessons are to be learned and get back to doing y
    Turning Chaos Into Calm: Creating Your Productive Environment
    It’s your first moment back at your desk after the annual meeting. The telephone is already ringing, 314 email messages lurk in your inbox, the staff meeting starts in 20 minutes, and your coffee just spattered on something marked “Urgent.” You look up at that ticking clock, feeling smothered by all the demands on your time and attention. Everywhere around you are papers and projects you need to work on. You look at a framed

  • Empathize, don't sympathize
    It's okay to say, "I'm so sorry that this happened to you, and I'll miss you." But don't say, "This happened to me once and I know just how you feel." In the first place, you don't know that your experience is anything at all like hers, and in the second place it sounds like a bid for attention.
  • Tell her how you feel
    If she's a good friend and you'll miss her, tell her so. If you're mad at the company, share that with her. Being honest about your emotions will help her manage her own anger and sadness.
  • If she wants to talk, just listen
    She may want to talk about the experience right away, or maybe next week, or perhaps never at all. But if she does want to tell you what happened, how she's feeling, and what she's worried about, be an active listener. Make sure you've got plenty of time to listen, find a private space, and give her your full attention while she talks. Try to be 100% present for her, not worrying about this afternoon's meeting. Respond if it feels appropriate, but don't feel that this needs to be a conversation - she mainly needs someone to really listen while she sorts things out.
  • Stay in touch with her
    If you're friends, be sure to stay in touch with her after she leaves to let her know you haven't forgotten her. It may be that your friendship fades over time if you don't see her at work every day, but at least at first she needs to know that someone values her. So take her out to lunch a few days after she leaves.
  • Get back to work
    Don't try to be a hero and get her reinstated. Don't kick the boss's door down and yell at him. A definitely don't spread nasty rumors about "what really happened." None of this will help her and it will definitely hurt you. Just learn whatever lessons are to be learned and get back to doing y
    Benefits of Business Coaching
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    y want to talk about the experience right away, or maybe next week, or perhaps never at all. But if she does want to tell you what happened, how she's feeling, and what she's worried about, be an active listener. Make sure you've got plenty of time to listen, find a private space, and give her your full attention while she talks. Try to be 100% present for her, not worrying about this afternoon's meeting. Respond if it feels appropriate, but don't feel that this needs to be a conversation - she mainly needs someone to really listen while she sorts things out.
  • Stay in touch with her
    If you're friends, be sure to stay in touch with her after she leaves to let her know you haven't forgotten her. It may be that your friendship fades over time if you don't see her at work every day, but at least at first she needs to know that someone values her. So take her out to lunch a few days after she leaves.
  • Get back to work
    Don't try to be a hero and get her reinstated. Don't kick the boss's door down and yell at him. A definitely don't spread nasty rumors about "what really happened." None of this will help her and it will definitely hurt you. Just learn whatever lessons are to be learned and get back to doing y
    Real Estate Is Your Friend, Invest in It
    Hear the term "Real Estate Investing" and the typical person probably imagines some Herculean figure who has tons of cash, guts, or both. The truth is real estate is blown way out of proportion for some in terms of its sheer mystique. The bottom line is real estate is the number 1 way for the average Joe and Jane to add to their bottom line in a big way. The first thing you should do is think differently. Instead
    sure to stay in touch with her after she leaves to let her know you haven't forgotten her. It may be that your friendship fades over time if you don't see her at work every day, but at least at first she needs to know that someone values her. So take her out to lunch a few days after she leaves.
  • Get back to work
    Don't try to be a hero and get her reinstated. Don't kick the boss's door down and yell at him. A definitely don't spread nasty rumors about "what really happened." None of this will help her and it will definitely hurt you. Just learn whatever lessons are to be learned and get back to doing your job as well as you can.

  There it is, the wisdom I wish I had had when my boss was fired. As I look back on what I've written it looks pretty elementary, but it's easy to forget it when you need it. I hope you never need it, but I also hope it helps when you do.